My Non-Resolutions for the New Year

This post originally appeared on ScreamFree.com in 2015.

I’m not a big one for New Year’s Resolutions. Oh, I’ve made them…but few have I kept. It’s a frustrating process really. Deciding to be different, making a go of it, and then failing. But there is something about new beginnings, new years that make me want to try again. Instead of resolutions, however, I believe I’m going to try some New Year’s non-resolutions, commitments to things I will NOT do. So here goes:

I will not try to please everyone.

This one’s tough and will certainly require constant reminders. I can’t possibly make everyone happy—not my husband, my kids, my extended family, my colleagues, my friends. Nope. That can’t be my goal. Do I hope to make them happy sometimes? Absolutely! But so much of the time, their happiness (or lack thereof) has nothing to do with me. I could do everything right and they might still be unhappy. So I will seek to live a godly life, seek to love, and leave the happiness factor at the door.

I will not beat myself up about my weight and appearance.

Let’s face it: I’m in my 40’s and I’ll never, ever again look like I did in my 20’s. Just a fact. And after dealing with cancer last year and falling off the exercise wagon, it’s going to take awhile to get back in shape. AND THAT’S OK. There’s too much living to do. This one’s going to be really tough, and I know I’m still going to seek to be healthy with food and exercise, but I will not allow a number on a scale to define me.

I will not compare myself to others.

In the age of Facebook, it’s so easy to compare my behind the scenes to someone else’s front page. This is my life, the life I’ve been called to live and I cannot begin to imagine what other’s face behind their closed doors. As Teddy Roosevelt said, “Comparison is the thief of joy.” I want to focus on the best life I can live, and not rob myself of the joys that I can experience if I appreciate what I do have.

I will not take life too seriously.

There is nothing like a brush with death to put your life in perspective.  Yesterday, as I was moping about a trivial matter, I came across a blog post of a woman who is at death’s door. She’s a young mom of four little kids. A few days after Christmas, hospice has been brought in. The end is near. As I reflected on my moping, I was embarrassed. Was it really that significant to me? Did it merit a full-on moping session? Isn’t there more important stuff in life? Here is a family who is facing the death of their wife and mom, and I was upset about a non-issue? I don’t know what 2015 holds, but I do know that life is too short to fret over meaningless stuff.

I will not rob myself or my family of a chance to laugh and have fun.

I plan on finding the silver linings, the funnies, and the graces in everyday life. There is so much to celebrate, so much to rejoice in that I don’t want to miss out on living life fully.

What are YOUR non-resolutions?

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2 thoughts on “My Non-Resolutions for the New Year

  1. My non-resolution is to not stress over my weight, a very long, hard fight extending over years. I’m 50 lbs down but still fighting to reach my goal. I refuse to stress over backwards movement of the scale when it happens!

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